Apparently there are different layers of nervous-ness and this past week I have perhaps endured the majority. Last week we taped 2 episodes of the show, one which aired Friday and the other's airing next week. Even though I've awaited this opportunity all my life and we had a week to practice, when it came time to rock... my mind went blank.
WHAT"S WRONG WITH ME?
Ahh... nobody knows. ha.
But then again thinking back, this is also why I wanted to compete in this contest. I want to push myself to the fullest. Ever since I moved to Taiwan, stage fright has been a big issue. And its time to get over it! It's crazy cause I practically grew up on a stage. When I was 5, you'd have to pry a mic off me. But now, I get this overwhelming anxiety anytime someone mentions me singing a song. Sometimes its too easy to look back and think "wow i won this and this" or "wow i stared in this," but the hard part is leaving the past behind and striving for the future.
Ahhh... I have dwelled in the "what's wrong with me Q&A sessions" with myself and realized it's just a waste of time. So now I've moved on to closing my eye's, which actually kinda makes it worse. ha. So then the other day, while i was conversing with my friend he told me his technique of getting into a song. It's actually pretty ridiculous, but i think it just might work...Hahaah.
He told me the reason I'm so nervous is because i care too much about what other ppl think. So the next time before I sing, i should call the person my song is about.. hmm..(although i think this is only gonna be a one time thing...) But this week i'm singing 剪愛 by 黃小琥。 This is one of the best songs i do because it kinda defines the relationship i have with my ex boyfriend. Hmm... i think i'll try it and await for the wtf "hello" on the other end. But this just might work... hopefully my next entry with be: "Getting over performance anxiety 101."
